This weekend has been planned for a while. A nice Fall visit from John’s
parents. October is my favorite
month; not too hot, not too cold, not too humid, not too buggy. There is a good selection of inside and
outside activities. I am the kind
of hostess who likes to give a smorgasbord of options and the weekend before
Halloween is full to the brim with possible outings and back porch sitting.
Thursday I cooked an edible meal for weary travelers and
kids who needed to attempt an early bedtime with the excitement of celebrities
being under the same roof. Friday
morning went smoothly, depositing the little darlings without a 4th
tardy in 4 weeks which could apparently get my in big trouble (3 has me needing
to grovel before some AISD people).
That left me and the bonus parents time to catch up and figure out the
rest of the day.
We opted for a small trek to McKinney to a restaurant on the
Square. Everyone’s food was
good. We made sure to eat only
enough to leave room for pie. A
day that includes pie is an excellent day. We topped it off by sitting in the middle of the square
under an extra blue sky listening to old guys playing Blue Grass.
I gotta tell you, at this point I am feeling pretty darn
good about myself. I had succeeded
in that ever so brief feeling of creating a “perfect” relaxing weekend for
people I love. I had also
succeeded in parallel parking my mini-van right on the square. It took me a good ten minutes. I got a standing ovation from two
veterans with white hair and Army hats.
I failed parallel parking twice back in the day and I hate to admit my skills
have not improved in 30 years. In
fact, I am not exactly known for my ability to maneuver a car. I have run into the garage door and
knocked my back window out. I have
run into the side of the garage and knocked the numbers off the brick. I have run into shelves and caused a
giant wire spool to fly onto the hood of the car. However, none of these compare to what happened yesterday.
As I was saying, I was busy putting this weekend into the
slam dunk category. We came home,
John succumbed to the afternoon pie coma while Jeanette and I had a wonderful
conversation on the back porch. As
evening rolled around, we decided a pick up from Rudy’s would top off the
day. So, I blissfully backed out
of the garage thinking all was right with the world when “BAM!!!” Into my MIL’s
car I slam. You know those moments
where you wish you had a giant time eraser, a do over? That was my brain. My mother in law who is just cool looks
at me and says “Let’s go get the food and worry about this when we get
back.” I can’t. I have to look. I do not have a big time eraser so my
second hope is that there is no evidence of my crash on the CRV. You know that thing Charlie Brown
does with his mouth wide open going “ARGHHHHH!”, insert that here. There was a bump, a scratch, and panel
popped out that wasn’t going back in.
No, it was stubbornly there letting everyone know that yes indeed, a Honda
Odyssey had made contact.
There is no hope of a weekend being a slam dunk when you run
into your in-laws car. No hope at
all.
The next step was going to suck. Telling John 1 and John 2. Again, thank goodness for the wisdom of my MIL. “let’s tell them after dinner. It is just a car. It will be fine.” Her plan was perfect, no one had to
deal with the indigestion of this horrible event through dinner but me, the
responsible ninny. Finally when we
were done eating but sitting around the table I burst out “I HAVE DONE
SOMETHING!!” and I covered my eyes.
The whole thing came out of my mouth and I actually watched the
happiness drain out of my FIL’s face.
Of course my husband who has been around this particular block with me
for 15 years just shakes his head.
My Father in Law makes the long walk out to take a look. I irrationally hope the fix-it-fairy
has come to the rescue. I can tell
from the look on his face when he returns, no such luck.
Now this is why I love these people. I was a complete dumbass. I backed out of my car into a parked
car. I had plenty of room to avoid
it. I had been avoiding it all day. The only reason I hit it this time, as
stated, I am a dumbass. I know
they were irritated and angry.
They had every right to be.
BUT, with great, great reserve, no one actually said out loud that I am
a dumb ass. No one said any of the
true but horrible things they were thinking out loud. Everyone took a giant bite out of their
tongues and decided to let the weekend go on, making the best of it. In fact, only a few moments ago
Jeanette announced that today was a great day. And it was. I
did not create the slam dunk weekend I wanted but my bonus parents did. It is easy to know you belong when
everything goes perfectly; it is something entirely different to be loved and
forgiven when you screw up.
That said, I will have the left side of the garage cleaned
out before their next visit.
I have never run into anyone parked next to me. Okay, just to be safe I will park in
the other garage.
I would not call you a dumb ass. I would describe you as "at times, oblivious to your surroundings". You can take solace in that you are not even the worse in the neighborhood, at least until you run over an electric transformer. I think that your OTYS is hereditary. Remember your mother running over the speed sign while messing with your hair.
ReplyDeleteDad, I love you. You made me laugh. And yes, I will say when the topic of car mishaps comes up, I always think of Mom and the speed limit sign.
ReplyDelete